The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.  Rather than start a new blog (how many does one person need?) I thought I would just start a category.  Here’s where I’m coming from…

There’s a difference in cleaning with vinegar because that’s what you have vs. choosing not to buy fancy, and dangerous, products.  Yay me! I’ve arrived.

There’s “feel good” in knowing that I’m using something basic to take care of…well, the basics of cleanliness. This also follows my already year-old commitment to using Jaydancin products.  They’re awesome for me…and for you.

But there’s more: Like parenting and how households end up more like vinaigrette.  There’s shake ups and spices and basics of oil/vinegar combinations and concoctions. There will be plenty of posts around that salad bowl.

Vinegar is used to preserve things we enjoy later like grandma’s pickles.

Vinegar is considered a gentle acid and somehow that translates into a shiny surface without any power tools in my mind.

…and it goes on french fries, one of my favourite indulgences.

Now before you think I’ve gone all “Mr. Whateverhisnameis-WindexFreakFrom-the-Greek-Wedding-movie” don’t worry.  I won’t put any in a spray bottle to have handy…in the car or to our lunch date, but may just use it on the weeds in the yard too.

Most of all, it’s kind of fun not labeling this year’s events with something heavy and burdensome like the last two blogs I’ve written. I’m just not carrying it.  It’s time to lighten up and just plain ‘ol live…vinegar style.  Uncomplicated, taken care of, in full choice, strong and best experienced in a room with fresh air.

Keeping it light, and still believing in ME

JCM

P.S. Here’s a link to the Vinegar Wikipedia page for your daily brain expansion.

It’s about Christmas.

Despite all the frenzy and stress and baking and shopping and driving and parties and concerts and meals and desserts and transferring of kids and presents (and, and, and) I must get this off my chest because I probably won’t get to talk to each of you with the same gusto.

It’s not about the items but the effort.  It’s not about time off, it’s about the magic we all believe in at some level. It’s about us!

This year, there is minimal decorating at our house.  It just doesn’t feel right to me anymore.  Yes, if you recall, we were the first house with lights on street.  Yes, we have a Christmas tree.  We even have a nativity set properly positioned. But when I looked at all the other things I’ve collected (and was lovingly given) over the years, I realized I didn’t want to bury the magic. Stick to the basics; give people my attention not the walls of my house.

To me, Christmas is about us.  The love we have for each other, and how we find special ways of showing it. At one point in my life the evening was scheduled around church and a manger.  Heck for my very first Christmas (as I have boasted before to some of you) I was put in the manger at church since I was only 24 days old…and gave the elderly ladies at the front quite a scare when I started to cry.  I was hot and sweaty…no surprise to those of you who know my regular temperature (to this day).  My initials are J.C. by the way, so I firmly believe in my connection to the ascended master.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand and support the big fella just as much as I believe in all the Saints and Buddas and Enlightened Beings that support our life on earth.

So instead of decorating and spending time and energy conforming I decided to be different. Surprise!  When budgets and timelines and kids wear me down, I get back to the basics.

My post is a THANK YOU that I will repost frequently because my Christmas wish is for us to share and remember the spirit of Christmas and more importantly our faith in each other.

1. Thank you for your faith in me.
2. Thank you for believing in magic who happens to come around once a year in a red outfit.
3. Thank you for respecting individual beliefs.
4. Thank you for making the effort to celebrate each other.

May you find the sweet moments this holiday season and continue to look for them all year round.

Believing in M.E. and you too.

JCM

And as I ponder what has brought on a leaky roof in my bedroom, the only thing I can surmise from the sensations in my body is this:  I want to cry.  Some of it could have to do with the fact it has been raining for a few days and I’m tired of a wet carpet and the pit-pat of drops in a bucket.  It may have something to do with the resulting downer of a very busy week including a birthday, two nights out and the regular hormonal blast.  Although babysitters fell through and I had to rely on Grandma again, I still saw it through.

Usually I’m  grateful for the rinse of the rain.  It freshens things up, changes routines a little and overall does the spirit good to be misted.  I like the sensation on my face and enjoy the fresh coat of colour as it enhances everything that is.

Back to me.

I “went out” three times this month.  For a Sagittarius, this is a standard dose of adventure (maybe even a little less than standard).  For a single mom of two, not so.  I also ran out of gas twice…now that’s adventure!  I have since figured out that 1/3 of a tank actually means empty.  The kids keep asking me if we have enough and so does my mother when she comes along and we all check the gauge together now. *Sigh*  I’ll live it down someday…and we all keep laughing.

So what do I want to cry about? Turning another year older? Nah.  It’s a number to celebrate: 3+7=10=1  so it’s a year of new beginnings and unity.

My lower self scoffs: New beginnings?  Haven’t you had enough of those lately?  Unity? Really, you’re spending more time apart from your kids how is that unity?

My higher self croons: The new beginning…the one beyond the years of transition you just went through.  Unity is togetherness no matter what changes.  Unity in heart and spirit counts too.

So I’m mourning in the final stages of transition maybe.  My mom tells me I haven’t been myself over the last couple of days so clearly it’s noticeable and if I could only just push an emotional purge button, it would all be over with. I’m irritated and not being able to get grounded, get real and get back to loving.

And the only way to get there is through me. I know that.

Last night I got caught up on laundry and dishes and prepared lunches…going through the motions and responsibilities and enjoying the quiet they provided.  It felt like progress.

Simple things reassure me.

As I type this I’m watching two little birds perched on a tire, in the shelter of the van’s wheel well. They’re chirping about the weather like two old men and it’s making me smile…and now there are four of them and I’m just about to laugh out loud. They’re glad it’s raining and not snowing! It’s silly; but even better to feel laughter.

My life is full and vibrant and I’m grateful for all of it. I roll and jump and toussel and take leaps of faith regularly.  I also hug, love, encourage and enjoy the people in it wholeheartedly…and it’s okay when I need to sit quietly and recharge.

So there has been a change in metric, and the roof is being overhauled…the sky (and beyond) is limitless! I release all that no longer serves me.

Believing in me,

JCM

Just today, I can come up with multiple examples of how perspective can make for fun or distress.  How tricky it is to consciously choose each and every moment!  And in a world of customer interaction, satisfaction and stupefaction you’ve got to decide before it even happens.

So I’d like to give credit to my coworker and belt-badged barrista Joel.  Joel and I had a bit of a bumpy start; we were kind of awkward and the more time we spent together having fun with our job, the more our customers enjoyed us too.  So now that we’re poking fun at each other openly, and looking for a radio station to broadcast our “Jen & Joel behind the Bar in the Morning” show, I think we’re onto something.  We’ve been practicing our “Cocktail” cup throwing moves and other theatrics too.  But it’s not just the production we put on when we work together, we groove in serving customers and they like that. I remind our patrons that Joel is our Store Manager (his self proclaimed title) and he likes to share that I’m “Sweet,  Not Sissy.” (which is on my collaged cup).  We have different styles, that’s for sure.  The best part is that we have respect for our differences and I really appreciate that. Perspectives count and they don’t need to be right or wrong. They just are.

So not only are we having fun, we have launched into Christmas and the store has been transformed. There’s a lot of red and snowflakes and the word “Christmas” all over to remind me it’s coming.  I expected to hear more grumbling than pleasure and it really wasn’t the case.  I’m good with it all since we haven’t shifted to Christmas music…yet. I’m thinking it’s because there are so many more syrup bottles and the drink combinations to go with them that I’m kind of scrambling in the new…and giggling at the ridiculous thought that world thinks they need so much sugar. That, and I don’t know how to work the new slogan in AND include patrons names on cups without making it sound like a marriage proposal.  I’m keeping my holly garter belt handy just in case though (pics to follow.)

My final thought in the duality of perception came to me at the end of the day.  At the end of my shift, I agreed to business brainstorm with a gentleman I regularly serve coffee to.  The coffee regulars were surprised to see me on the customer side.  I said to my pal: “you know, it wasn’t that long ago the customers were surprised to see me on the serving side of the bar. Now, they’re surprised to see me on the customer side.”  He smirked too, remembering way back then.

Oh, how life changes!

I could have felt sad about that but really, I’m happy about it.  The way I see it, it’s nice to be remembered regardless.

Believing in ME; believing in happiness.

JCM

However, I decided that posting to express some gratitude might just add extra oomph to my list of thank yous.

1. Thank you  full-moon for returning my “compassion” ring.  I was missing it and was extra delighted to discover that I was the one in need of compassion for myself.  Nice full circle there (pardon the pun.)

2. Thank you bizzare twist of fate and facts last week for showing me there are people out there who love me, those who don’t (yet), those who can’t (and that’s okay) and those that won’t (lovin’ isn’t always easy).

3. Thank you to my body, the vessel that contains and moves this big energy called Jen around. And also a “merci” to my mind for allowing and “grati” to my heart for remaining open.  I promise to get lots of water and rest this week.

4. Thank you to the echo of laughter; the vibe of banter and jesting over steaming milk and espresso feels good to me. I revel in the fountain of their creation and I’m happy to share jovial times.

5. Thank you to Mason  & Ellie for getting excited over my ideas (there are many of them as you probably know) and for sharing your night-time thoughts with me. Moments such as these are sweet nectar to my day.

Life is beautiful. We are beautiful.

Believing in ME

JCM

I’m just going to blurt things out…rendering my natural wit and humour raw.

We wrapped up the summer with a spur of the moment trip to Kincardine.  A great big thank you to Colette who shared her hometown with our little family.  A highlight was becoming part of the grand finale piper parade and the waterfront of course!  Ellie was in charge of the camera at various times and what catches her eye is wonderful. I have a series of colourful garbage cans, awesome shots of a Peace Garden and topped off with some street art.  She continues to fascinate me.

Coffee is good.

People are people.

Sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith.

I have leapt…and here’s where I’ve landed in regards to my bigger life picture: I’m winding down Nimble activities and stepping stronger into my life goal of my next entrepreneurial adventure.  When people come around and say “Hey! Where the heck have you been…” I smile and thank them for telling me they missed me!  Secondly, I tell give them the Reader’s Digest of the last two years with a climax of “…some people go back to school to learn a new skill.  I’ve gone to work, armpit deep, in learning my next new business.  All the while supporting my family in a more reliable way.”    So now that I’ve found the right words to explain what I am doing, you’ll be seeing more stuff in Nimble world reflecting that too.

Also noteworthy, you won’t be seeing me on Facebook as much…and likely more will come from my personal Twitter account @jnnfrmrry and less from @nimbleassistant I’m enjoying the face to face encounters with great personality.  So when I’m home in the evenings, I tend to keep to myself so I can digest all I’ve learned that day.  Recognizing my sensitivities has helped tremendously in honoring that part of me and I endeavor to continue that discovery. I’m far more present in my time with the kids since I have less thought-leakage to Nimble stuff. (Yes, that was a gross image but a necessary one.)  We even went to the beach last Tuesday night (on a whim) and had the whole thing to ourselves.  You know how it’s good to follow your heart’s desire;  I will never forget the evening watching them play (without the summer beach fanfare.) My cup runneth over.

First Day of School 2011 - Grade 3 & Grade 1

So we’re doing more than okay.   Mason had his 8th birthday, my dad his 60-something’eth and we’ve survived another first day of school. (Don’t these two look like teenagers?!)

We’re getting real solid in “us.”  And who knows what’s next…I’m open and willing to receive.

Thank you for all your thoughts; I may not hear them with my ears but I feel them in my heart.

Here’s to the “wonderful” in each of us!

In nimble spirit,

JCM

Change is in the air; it always is. Sometimes we need a bigger shake up to resettle and recalibrate.  I don’t recall as much Shake, Rattle or Roll from Mother Earth…but maybe I’m just paying a little more attention to her.  Maybe this week’s rumble is helping let walls fall, so we can really see, experience and support what matters most: us.

I’ve had my own changes this week and a lot of them were mental.  No, I don’t think I’m going crazy-mental. At least no one is telling me any different!  I’m recognizing the effects of earlier this year and the action I took afterward.  So I’m on the other side of these changes and assessing where I feel right as rain and others I wonder where I could still do better. Ha…always with the improvement this one!

Early this week in my evening mental lounging, I put a drop in what I hope will be my manifesto:

I value our RESPONSE-ABILITY

to LOVE, RESPECT, ACCEPT

in FREEDOM

…every day, in every way.

So I’ve decided that whether this value is delivered through a cup of coffee or goofing around making lattes; or supporting businesses in the structure of their companies and interactions with their customers; it’s all good.  It’s not always easy but it’s worth it.

And I make a difference every day. So do you.

Believing in ME

JCM

Two "old" men sitting on the non-bench (Mason & James)

Another summer jaunt to the cottage is complete and yet I suspect the gauntlet is not quite conquered.  Any parent who has experienced their children being away for an extended period knows what “re-entry into your zone” means.  This year is a little different though so I’m not so certain we’ve arrived completely.  Or perhaps, last year was so bizzare my standards are skewed. I don’t know.

So far though, the kids arrived late Monday night to the cheers and open arms of not only their teary mother, but their pumped cousins.  Yep; I went from no kids to four kids in a matter of hours.  For the most part, it has been a cacophony of giggles and game rules, electronic beeps and blaring “get your rock on” music…lots of fun for the kids.  They may not have noticed they’re back home with mom yet (which is why I’m suspicious).

Today we packed a few balls (and a kite which was more for travel discussion on who would use it first since the air was heavier and immobile than a bowl of oatmeal). Oh, and we added two neighbour kids too.  That makes kids (6) and adult (1) and a little red wagon filled with implements, water, and snacks. Good times ahead.  I thought I was pretty clever to add kids since 3 on 3 soccer would be a lot more fun…and I wouldn’t have to play; just referee which I was getting good at anyway.

We returned home to a present at our door (thank you Forrest, GF bread will get you into heaven) and then nachos for everyone.  Now, to the naked and untrained eye it would seem like your average plate of loaded nachos.  But no! Each kid had their own custom made section. “I don’t like salsa, I don’t like goat cheese, I can’t eat cow cheese, I don’t like steak (huh? did another neighbourhood kid slip in here and I didn’t notice? Can I see some ID please?).

By 1:00 p.m. I called for back up.  Turns out I can totally do the multiple kid thing if I don’t plan on doing anything but.  Turns out, I have others things (aka The Nimble Assistant work) that need attention so I ducked out to do a little of that. Thank you Grandma! We had supper together (ribs, chicken wings, corn on the cob and caesar salad…which apparently “doesn’t count if there are not croutons” rebutted with “Cool! More for me.”) which is no slouch meal.

Angel-Girls Jorja & Ellie

Did I mention I make pumpkin brownies before even feeding these kids their breakfast (and no it wasn’t noon before I fed them).

So here we are, the girl-angels are sleeping and have been since 8:00.  Poor things are a little tired so I guess we’ve done alright by them.  By me, I’m delighted to have this time with the brood.  Warts and all…and still be able to tease, read, hug and play with them.

So I wonder if they’ve come to me or if I’ve come to them.  Regardless, this is our zone, gauntlet or not.

Believing in ME

JCM

It struck me as funny in a “Are You my LOVer” way instead.  In the children’s book a small bird falls from the nest and asks just about everything that moves (including objects that couldn’t be more unlikely to be his mother) if he/she/it was it’s mother. Despite the absurdity of the requests, you can’t help but sympathize with the little fella who knows he desperately needs “it” but doesn’t know what “it” looks like. Eventually, overcoming ridicule and scoffing, the wee bird finds what he knows is his birthright and everyone feels better.

This might seem like it’s coming out of left field. In truth, my sagittarian-gypsy/heart-philospher’s-soul goaded me to pick up a book titled Socrates in Love, Philosophy for a Passionate Heart (for $2 I could gamble).  The jacket promised discussion about four different kinds of love:

1. Eros – erotic love
2. Storge – love of family
3. Xenia – love of strangers
4. Agape – selfless love

I thought; okay, I think I’m ready for this and perhaps I’ll be able to make sense of my own love-mix. Although a bit academic, I’m enjoying the conversations around the topic and how we all interpret love. There are love languages, love motives, and love rewards and it’s all up for interpretation..and this just in…none of it is new.  There’s a little Freud slipped in there too which makes it interesting.  I’ve never studied the big thinkers and so far Socrates is my favourite. Freud is a little scary in my opinion.

A few quotes that I’m remembering from last night’s read:

“Love is what gives intrinsic value to a marriage..it is one of the supreme things which make human life worth preserving. But though there is no good marriage without love, the best marriages have a purpose which goes beyond love…infinite with the infinity of human endeavor…[with] that deep intimacy, physical, mental and spiritual, which makes a serious love between {my edit…partners…} the most fructifying of human experiences.”

That one, and:

“…true eros can be experienced only between equals.” Simone de Beauvoir

Regardless of what love camp you fall into, love is worth it and so are you.

So, don’t be afraid to ask something that doesn’t look like you on the surface and continue to seek the love you feel, desire, and deserve.

Have courage, even if it looks like a dumptruck or crane or goose.  That which can recognize the love in you. will have it within themselves as well.

Are you my lover?

Believing in the love in ME

JCM

Most notably, we each have our own rooms.  The children have outgrown their half of the big room and I’m more than happy to trade spaces.  I giggled like an adolescent putting my clothing into an actual dresser again.  Ellie is happily putting up butterflies and flowers on her walls and agreed that the wall colour goes perfectly with her HM bedclothes. = WIN.  Mason loves his newly painted red dresser and has plans for a wall-mounted 52″ television to go with his PSII game. I’m proud of his big dreaming. We’re going to start with a new laundry basket and tooth brush holder in the lower bathroom.

I’ve been overjoyed with all the shifts in energy over the last little while.  Reveling in the hindsight, I know I’m at the other side (until it’s time to change again I suppose) and this is my little way of celebrating it.  It doesn’t take too many posts back to find the discomfort we’ve just come through.  This reminds me that I really am alive, embracing and trusting in the lessons I signed up for in this life.

So through this little surge of empowerment, I checked with my new year’s resolutions. I vowed to enjoy my children with others and I’m pleased to report this is indeed happening. Last Wednesday, spur of the moment, I arranged to take Grandma and Ellie for tea at Eldon House here in London.  Mum loved it: Ellie was bored (but managed to make her own fun with my camera and eating all the lemons for the tea). I delighted in this special memory of the three generations.

In all fairness Mason and I went out on a dinner date the same night.  We talked about the virtues of  IPhones and what he was enjoying so far about his summer.  We talked soccer and his plans for (hopefully)  joining the competitive team next time. We talked about his upcoming trip to the cottage and what he thought about being in his own room now.  I loved giving Mason some individual attention and particularly how he shared his thoughts so freely.  My heart is filled with gratitude.

Before we shuttled to the farm for farewells to Jessie & Ryan, we attended our first work/play event as a family.  The rtraction gang had a BBQ party and we had a great time.  There was plenty of water being shot around, running, playing and laughter.  I’m very grateful for how this company has included me (us) in so many things and particularly how comfortable it is to participate.  Blending work and play really can be a natural and easy process with like people!

I encourage you to add your summer thoughts (by clicking on the title and adding them online) or simply by emailing me.  I’d love to hear what is making you breathe “aaah summer…” so far this year.

Believing in ME,

JcM